How g33k u are?

COMPUTERS

There is a record of geeks that don't use computers. Unfortunately, they are all dead, having lived in an era of no computers. All modern geeks have some exposure to computers. If you don't know what a computer is, you need to go back into your shell.


Computers
Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult the following (consider the term 'computers' synonymous with 'computer network'). This category represents "general" computer aptitude. Categories below will get into specifics.
C++++
I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface installed into my skull.
C+++
You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin' me! I haven't dragged myself to class in weeks.
C++
Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I play games or mud on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation.
C+
Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean game of DOOM! and can use a word processor without resorting to the manual too often. I know that a 3.5" disk is not a hard disk. I also know that when it says 'press any key to continue', I don't have to look for a key labeled 'ANY'.
C
Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves my purpose.
C-
Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm screwed.
C--
Where's the on switch?
C---
If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!



UNIX
It seems that a Unix-based operating system is the OS of choice among most geeks. In addition to telling us about your Unix abilities, you can also show which specific Unix OS you are using. To accomplish this, you include a letter showing the brand with your rating. For example: UL++++ would indicate a sysadmin running Linux.
B - BSD (use this unless your BSDish system is mentioned below)
L - Linux
U - Ultrix
A - AIX
V - SysV
H - HPUX
I - IRIX
O - OSF/1 (aka Digital Unix)
S - Sun OS/Solaris
C - SCO Unix
X - NeXT
* - Some other one not listed
U++++
I am the sysadmin. If you try and crack my machine don't be surprised if the municipal works department gets an "accidental" computer-generated order to put start a new landfill on your front lawn or your quota is reduced to 4K.
U+++
I don't need to crack /etc/passwd because I just modified su so that it doesn't prompt me. The admin staff doesn't even know I'm here. If you don't understand what I just said, this category does NOT apply to you!
U++
I've get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am always using all of the CPU time and trying to run programs that I don't have access to. I'm going to try cracking /etc/passwd next week, just don't tell anyone.
U+
I not only have a Unix account, but I slam VMS any chance get.
U
I have a Unix account to do my stuff in
U-
I have a VMS account.
U--
I've seen Unix and didn't like it. DEC rules!
U---
Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.



Perl
If you enjoy at least U++ status you have to know about Perl, so you might as well rate yourself in this sub-category. Non-Unix geeks don't know what they're missing.
P+++++
I am Larry Wall, Tom Christiansen, or Randal Schwartz.
P++++
I don't write Perl, I speak it. Perl has superseded all other programming languages. I firmly believe that all programs can be reduced to a Perl one-liner. I use Perl to achieve U+++ status.
P+++
Perl is a very powerful programming tool. Not only do I no longer write shell scripts, I also no longer use awk or sed. I use Perl for all programs of less than a thousand lines.
P++
Perl is a powerful programming tool. I don't write shell scripts anymore because I write them in Perl.
P+
I know of Perl. I like Perl. I just haven't learned much Perl, but it is on my agenda.
P
I know Perl exists, but that's all.
P-
What's Perl got that awk and sed don't have?
P--
Perl users are sick, twisted programmers who are just showing off.
P---
Perl combines the power of sh, the clarity of sed, and the performance of awk with the simplicity of C. It should be banned.
P!
Our paranoid admin won't let us install Perl! Says it's a "hacking tool".



Linux
Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to Unix. It was written for and continues to run on your standard 386/486/Pentium PC, but has also been ported to other systems. Because it is still a young OS, and because it is continually evolving from hacker changes and support, it is important that the geek list his Linux ability.
L+++++
I am Linus, grovel before me.
L++++
I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so many patches installed that I lost track about ten versions ago. Linux newbies consider me a net.god.
L+++
I use Linux exclusively on my system. I monitor comp.os.linux.* and even answer questions sometimes.
L++
I use Linux ALMOST exclusively on my system. I've given up trying to achieve Linux.God status, but welcome the OS as a replacement for DOS. I only boot to DOS to play games.
L+
I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few times. It seems like it is just another OS.
L
I know what Linux is, but that's about all
L-
I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give a rats patootie about it. There are other, better, operating systems out there. Like Mac, DOS, or Amiga-OS. Or, better yet even, would be another free Unix OS like FreeBSD.
L--
Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship Bill Gates.
L---
I am Bill Gates.



Emacs
GNU Emacs is the do-all be-everything editor/operating system available for just about every computer architecture out there.
E+++
Emacs is my login shell!! M-x doctor is my psychologist! I use emacs to control my TV and toaster oven! All you vi people don't know what you're missing! I read alt.religion.emacs, alt.sex.emacs, and comp.os.emacs.
E++
I know and use elisp regularly!
E+
Emacs is great! I read my mail and news with it!
E
Yeah, I know what emacs is, and use it as my regular editor.
E-
Emacs is too big and bloated for my tastes
E--
Emacs is just a fancy word processor
E---
Emacs sucks! vi forever!!!
E----
Emacs sucks! pico forever!!!



World Wide Web
It's relatively new. It's little understood. Everybody's doing it. How much of a web-surfer are you?
W+++
I am a WebMaster . Don't even think about trying to view my homepage without the latest version of Netscape. When I'm not on my normal net connection, I surf the web using my Newton and a cellular modem.
W++
I have a homepage. I surf daily. My homepage is advertised in my .signature.
W+
I have the latest version of Netscape, and wander the web only when there's something specific I'm looking for.
W
I have a browser and a connection. Occasionally I'll use them.
W-
The web is really a pain. Life was so much easier when you could transfer information by simple ASCII. Now everyone won't even consider your ideas unless you spiff them up with bandwidth-consuming pictures and pointless information links.
W--
A pox on the Web! It wastes time and bandwidth and just gives the uneducated morons a reason to clutter the Internet.



USENET News
Usenet, a global collection of flaming opinions and senseless babble, was designed as a way to eat up precious spool space on a system's hard drive. It also is a way for people to distribute pornography.
N++++
I am Tim Pierce
N+++
I read so many newsgroups that the next batch of news comes in before I finish reading the last batch, and I have to read for about 2 hours straight before I'm caught up on the morning's news. Then there's the afternoon...
N++
I read all the news in a select handful of groups.
N+
I read news recreationally when I have some time to kill.
N
Usenet News? Sure, I read that once
N-
News is a waste of my time and I avoid it completely
N--
News sucks! 'Nuff said.
N---
I work for Time Magazine.
N----
I am a Scientologist.
N*
All I do is read news



USENET Oracle
(Info taken from the Usenet Oracle Help File)Throughout the history of mankind, there have been many Oracles who have been consulted by many mortals, and some immortals. The great Hercules was told by the Gelphic Oracle to serve Eurystheus, king of Mycenae, for twelve years to atone for the murder of his own children. It was the Oracle of Ammon who told King Cepheus to chain his daughter Andromeda to the rocks of jappa to appease the terrible sea monster that was ravaging the coasts. That solution was never tested, though, as Perseus saved the girl in the nick of time.
With the advent of the electronic age, and expecially high-speed e-mail communication, the spirit of the Oracles found a new outlet, and we now recognize another great Oracle, the Usenet Oracle.
For more information, check out the newsgroups rec.humor.oracle and rec.humor.oracle.d or the FTP archives at cs.indiana.edu:/pub/oracle. Additional information and instructions can be found by sending an e-mail message with the subject of 'help' to oracle@cs.indiana.edu.
o+++++
I am Steve Kinzler
o++++
I am an active Priest
o+++
I was a Priest, but have retired.
o++
I have made the Best Of Oracularities.
o+
I have been incarnated at least once.
o
I've submitted a question, but it has never been incarnated.
o-
I sent my question to the wrong group and got flamed.
o--
Who needs answers from a bunch of geeks anyhow?



Kibo
Kibo is. That is all that can be said. If you don't understand, read alt.religion.kibology
K++++++
I am Kibo
K+++++
I've had sex with Kibo
K++++
I've met Kibo
K+++
I've gotten mail from Kibo
K++
I've read Kibo
K+
I like Kibo
K
I know who Kibo is
K-
I don't know who Kibo is
K--
I dislike Kibo
K---
I am currently hunting Kibo down with the intent of ripping his still-beating heart out of his chest and showing it to him as he dies
K----
I am Xibo



Microsoft Windows
A good many geeks suffer through the use of various versions of Microsoft's Windows running on or as a replacement for DOS. Rate your Windows Geekiness.
w+++++
I am Bill Gates
w++++
I have Windows, Windows 95, Windows NT, and Windows NT Advanced Server all running on my SMP RISC machine. I haven't seen daylight in six months.
w+++
I am a MS Windows programming god. I wrote a VxD driver to allow MS Windows and DOS to share the use of my waffle iron. P.S. Unix sux.
w++
I write MS Windows programs in C and think about using C++ someday. I've written at least one DLL.
w+
I have installed my own custom sounds, wallpaper, and screen savers so my PC walks and talks like a fun house. Oh yeah, I have a hundred TrueType(tm) fonts that I've installed but never used. I never lose Minesweeper and Solitaire
w
Ok, so I use MS Windows, I don't have to like it.
w-
I'm still trying to install MS Windows and have at least one peripheral that never works right
w--
MS Windows is a joke operating system. Hell, it's not even an operating system. NT is Not Tough enough for me either. 95 is how may times it will crash an hour.
w---
Windows has set back the computing industry by at least 10 years. Bill Gates should be drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned, disembowelled, and then REALLY hurt.



OS/2
The operating system that looks a lot like Windows, acts a lot like Windows, but is much better than Windows.
O+++
I live, eat and breathe OS/2. All of my hard drives are HPFS. I am the Anti-Gates.
O++
I use OS/2 for all my computing needs. I use some DOS and Windows programs, but run them under OS/2. If the program won't run under OS/2, then obviously I don't need it.
O+
I keep a DOS partition on my hard drive "just in case". I'm afraid to try HPFS.
O
I finally managed to get OS/2 installed but wasn't too terribly impressed.
O-
Tried it, didn't like it.
O--
I can't even get the thing to install!
O---
Windows RULES!!! Long live Bill Gates. (See w++++)
O----
I am Bill Gates of Borg. OS/2 is irrelevant.



Macintosh
Many geeks have abandoned the character-based computer altogether and moved over to the Macintosh. It in important to give notification of your Mac rating.
M++
I am a Mac guru. Anything those DOS putzes and Unix nerds can do, I can do better, and if not, I'll write the damn software to do it.
M+
A Mac has it's uses and I use it quite often.
M
I use a Mac, but I'm pretty indifferent about it.
M-
Macs suck. All real geeks have a character prompt.
M--
Macs do more than suck. They make a user stupid by allowing them to use the system without knowing what they are doing. Mac weenies have lower IQs than the fuzz in my navel.



VMS
Many geeks use the VMS operating system by DEC for all of their mainframe and network activity.
V+++
I am a VMS sysadmin. I wield far more power than those UNIX admins, because UNIX can be found on any dweeb's desktop. Power through obscurity is my motto.
V++
Unix is a passing fad compared to the real power in the universe, my VMS system.
V+
I tend to like VMS better than Unix
V
I've used VMS.
V-
Unix is much better than VMS for my computing needs.
V--
I would rather smash my head repeatedly into a brick wall than suffer the agony of working with VMS. It's reminiscent of a dead and decaying pile of moose droppings. Unix rules the universe.